A wedding ceremony is an integral part of celebrating two people coming together to form a family. The bride and groom will make arrangements to ensure that the wedding ceremony goes on without a hitch. Sometimes the couple needs help in settling the costs, and their families usually step in to help. In some cases, certain people will pay for specific products or services required at the wedding ceremony.
So who pays what at a Jewish wedding – and why? In a traditional Jewish wedding, the bride’s parents usually pay for a large part of the wedding. The bride’s mother will take charge of planning the wedding, making sure they keep it within their financial capabilities. For a modern Jewish wedding, the couple usually pays for the wedding if they’re financially stable, but they still consult with the parents on a few things.
Traditionally, Jewish parents had the role of organizing the wedding for generations, but as customs and traditions keep changing, the bride and groom may assume this role. Read on to find more information about who pays for specific services and products at a Jewish wedding and who pays for the Jewish wedding ceremony.
Who Pays the Different Aspects of a Jewish Wedding – and Why?
A Jewish wedding ceremony does require good financial planning to pull off. Traditionally, the bride’s parents had the responsibility of planning for the wedding. The bride’s family will arrange the ceremony according to their financial capabilities. However, it is not a rule that the bride’s parents have to pay for the wedding. If the couple is financially stable, they can pay for their wedding. Here are some of the products or services that certain people pay for at a Jewish wedding;
For the ceremony itself, the bride or her family will pay for the chuppah (also known as the chupa, huppah, or chuppah, it’s a canopy where the bride and groom stand during the wedding ceremony), sexton, organist, and others. The groom or family will pay for the Ketubah (marriage contract) and the wedding officiant’s fees. The bride’s family or the bride pays for the ceremony’s venue because they are responsible for the planning; hence, they have to pick a comfortable place that they can afford. The bride will also take care of the printing invitations, announcements, and wedding programs.
The bride’s family or the bride will pay for the bride’s dress, veil, and other accessories. Sometimes the bride will use the wedding dress passed down through her generation. The groom or his family will pay for his wedding suit or tuxedo. All the other guests have to pay for their attires, including the bridesmaids and the groomsmen.
The bride’s family or the bride will pay for a large part of the venue’s decoration. The bride or her family will pay for the flower arrangements, a bouquet for the bridesmaids and flower girls. The bride or her family is responsible for paying for the chuppah. They will also pay for the decorations at the wedding reception.
The groom or his family shall pay for the bride’s bouquet and boutonnieres for the groomsmen. Since the bride or her family are in charge of planning the wedding, the venue’s decoration is their priority; hence they pay for a large portion of the decorating budget.
The groom or his family will pay for the honeymoon. The bride and groom need to spend some time alone after the wedding ceremony. The expectation is that the groom is financially prepared to take the bride to an excellent location to start their life together. The groom can ask for help from his parents if he feels he cannot pay for the honeymoon.
Weddings rings play an essential role in a Jewish wedding ceremony. Jewish wedding rings are special, and the bride and groom need to follow the rules set on how they should appear. The groom shall pay for the bride’s wedding ring. It is a tradition for the groom to own the ring before the wedding and give it to the bride during the ceremony. In a Jewish wedding, only one ring is necessary, but the bride can also get the groom a ring, but he cannot wear it during the ceremony.
The bride or her family will arrange for the mikvah. A mikvah is a pre-wedding ritual where the Jewish bride is immersed in a mikvah, a ritual bath in running water. Next comes a party for women, who are usually the bride’s friends and family. For spouses that embrace the modern ways, the maid of honor and the bridesmaids will arrange for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. The best man and groomsmen will organize a bachelor party for the groom.
Transportation is a crucial part of any wedding ceremony. The bride and groom and the wedding party need to move from one place to the next according to the schedule to keep the function running smoothly. The bride or her parents will arrange and pay for transportation. They shall look for an affordable but elegant means of transport to take the bride and groom and the wedding party from the wedding venue to the reception venue.
Who Pays for A Jewish Wedding?
For generations, the bride and groom’s parents have played a key role in arranging their children’s wedding. Traditionally, the parents of the bride plan and pay for the wedding.
The bride’s parents, especially the mother, will arrange the wedding from start to finish. The bride’s mother will organize the wedding ceremony, making the decisions on the venue, decorations, catering, among others, to control the budget. The size of the wedding ceremony would depend on the financial capabilities of the bride’s family.
In the old days, the bride and groom did not have any control over the wedding ceremony. The bride’s parents were responsible for crucial decisions. The parents would consult the bride and groom on a few things, but they still had the final word. This tradition gave the bride and groom little control over how they would want their special day to go.
Today, the tradition is not upheld as much because many of the young Jewish couples are financially independent. Financially capable couples will take control of arranging for their wedding and paying all the expenses. The roles seem to have reversed. Nowadays, the parents only offer their input on a few things, and the couples getting married have the final word on their wedding.
The couple can ask or receive financial support from both of their parents. Paying for your wedding shows you are financially capable of taking care of a family. Many young couples would not want to burden their parents with wedding expenses, yet they have their own money. Paying for your wedding ensures you have complete control over all the aspects of the wedding, like the number of guests, decorations, honeymoon destinations, among others.
Planning for a wedding is not an easy task. In the Jewish tradition, the bride and groom need to focus on their wedding day; hence, planning is the parents’ responsibility. The bride’s mother makes sure everything runs smoothly from the pre-wedding rituals to the wedding ceremony.
Traditionally the bride’s parents have the obligation of organizing and paying for the wedding. But in the modern world, this is unnecessary, and the couple should pay for their wedding. However, if the bride and groom encounter some difficulties while planning for the wedding, they are allowed to ask for help from their parents, other family members, or close friends.